Reality

No matter how much I read and mentally prepared myself for this crazy adventure, it wasn’t enough until I started experiencing it. For the many months leading up to our departure, I was so excited and had this idea in my head about how life was going to be here. My vision included various thoughts about the people here and how they live their lives but I never took into consideration the fact that I would need to adjust to it – physically, mentally and emotionally.

It’s really tough here and every day I think about going home. I don’t feel like I have a purpose here. Back home it’s so easy to stay busy and accomplish so much in one day but in Arua, Uganda, everything works at a much slower pace, including me.

I’ve become very weak in recent days. The food is difficult to adjust to and although I try my best to finish my meals, it’s a very rare occasion when I actually do. I’ll often eat half of what’s on my plate and quickly begin to feel nauseous. Since I don’t finish my meals, I become weak and tired, often leading to a lack of appetite. The vicious cycle continues every day.

Yet, with all this complaining, I think of those who are lucky if they have one meal a day. I think of the young men that are working on the construction of our compound and how a number of them are orphans, just trying to survive each day. I think of our new friend Carol who relentlessly showed us around Kampala for the first week we were there, despite the disability in her foot that she’s had since she was born.

All of these things are what make me think twice when I complain about life here. I’ve been taken completely out of my comfort zone. Using a hole in the ground as a washroom and bucket showering with cold, rainwater on a cool morning is not my idea of fun. It really does feel like a bad vacation. I want to come home and when I do, I’m sure I’ll appreciate to comforts of Canada much more.

In the meantime, I'll try to appreciate life here. When I meet interesting people, my reason for being here becomes clearer but right now I'm just trying to figure out if it's worth it.